Social media is powerful; it doesn’t have to run your day. 

Social media itself isn’t the enemy. It helps us stay in touch with people we care about, find ideas, and even feel less alone. But it is carefully designed to keep our attention, and over time, it can affect our mood, energy, and how we see ourselves.

One of the most common patterns I hear about is comparison. You scroll and see other people’s holidays, houses, bodies, relationships, or businesses. Even when you know these are “highlight reels,” a part of your mind quietly starts measuring: “I’m behind. I’m not doing enough. Something is wrong with me.” Another pattern is feeling like you can never fully “switch off.” There’s always another notification, another message, another video. Your body rarely gets a chance to rest.

This can slowly feed into burnout. When your attention is pulled in many directions, it becomes harder to focus at work, be present with your partner or children, or enjoy the small, ordinary parts of your day. You might notice you feel more exhausted yet less rested, more overloaded yet less connected. It’s not that social media is the only cause, but it can quietly add weight to a life that already feels heavy.

Many of the men I work with describe using social media as a way to “switch off” at the end of a long day. This makes sense, it’s quick, readily available, and doesn’t ask much of you. The difficulty is that instead of truly resting, they often end up more agitated, numb, or stuck. What was meant to be a break can become another drain on their energy.

If you recognise some of this, you’re not alone. You don’t have to delete every app or move to a cabin with no internet. Instead, you can begin experimenting with a different relationship to social media, one that supports your life rather than quietly draining it.

Here are a few simple ideas that I find helpful:

1. Notice how you feel before and after you scroll  

Next time you pick up your phone, pause for a moment and gently notice: “How am I feeling right now?” You don’t need a perfect word – maybe it’s just “tired,” “anxious,” “bored,” or “curious.” Then, after you’ve been scrolling for a few minutes, check in again. “Do I feel better, worse, or about the same?”  

This small habit can help you see which kinds of content support you, and which ones leave you feeling more depleted.

2. Create “safe times” and “rest times”  

Instead of letting notifications decide for you, you might experiment with choosing when you want social media to be part of your day. For example, you could decide that mornings before work are “no scroll” time, or that you’ll check apps at two or three specific points in the day rather than every time you feel a little uncomfortable or bored.  

The aim isn’t to be perfect. It’s to give your nervous system some protected space where it doesn’t have to respond to anything new.

3. Gently curate what you consume  

It can be useful to notice: “Who do I follow that leaves me feeling small, angry, or never enough?” and “Who do I follow that leaves me feeling grounded, inspired, or understood?” Over time, you might mute or unfollow accounts that consistently pull you into comparison or outrage, and make more room for accounts that feel values‑aligned for you.  

Again, this isn’t about creating a “positive vibes only” bubble. It’s about having some choice over the voices you invite into your day.

These ideas are not rules you must follow. They are invitations to experiment with a bit more awareness and kindness towards yourself. Social media can be powerful and useful, and you are allowed to protect your attention, your energy, and your inner life.